(PCM) We all know by now that the Ancient Mayan calendar predicts that December 21, 2012 is the end of the world. Whether you take it as truth or not, it’s undeniably garnered attention and a countdown. This weekend is notable for both aspects as we say hello to the latest apocalypse film, “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World” and hit the 6-months-exactly mark on the Doomsday calendar.
Yes, sure, the end of the world has been predicted for a multitude of different years throughout history, but here are just a few signs that we’ve seen recently that could support the claim that maybe 12/21/12 is in fact the end of days:
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
And you thought Elizabeth and Darcy were perfect for one another! Let’s face it, those two don’t have anything on Kim and Kanye. They’re so perfect for one another it’d be hard to imagine anything aside from an apocalypse tearing them apart. Their egos combined could implode the world alone.
Discovery that Duct Tape Cannot Fix Everything
Duct Tape has been the go-to tool to fix any problem. Unfortunately, the day has come where we must face the truth: it can’t. When a fuel tank was leaking, a Canadian truck driver tried to use the tape as a quick fix. Instead, the tractor-trailer ended up leaking 100 gallons of diesel more. What widespread belief will be the next to fall?
The Glass House
Game shows, “celebreality” series, competition series, dating shows and more are a dime a dozen, but the one thing that always remained sacred and untouched was the chaos, unending drama and pure summer delight of CBS’ Big Brother. If we can’t think of new reality programs, well, how can reality itself continue?
Spy Mosquito
With rumors surfacing just days ago, we got our first glimpse at how tiny and terrifying spyware can be. Redefining “bug,” there is word spreading that an insect spy drone is already in production. This robotic insect is equipped with a camera, built-in microphone, and ability to fly remotely, land on your skin and use a needle to take your DNA sample or insert a tracking device. And you would only notice this bug as much as you notice a mosquito. We can’t imagine what would come next.
Snooki is Pregnant
While we can take solace in the fact that we won’t have a true Snooki, Jr. mini- me released unto the world (because she’s expecting a baby boy), her little angel will still have half of her genes – and the other half won’t be much better. Even more feared than the genetic combination is the parenting skills Snooki would employ.
Thieves Stocking Up on Mayonnaise
Hey, we told you there’s only 6 months till the big day, which sounds like as good a time as any to start stocking up on the survival essentials. Two thieves in South Australia could have had it in mind when two huge 46-pound tubs (92 pounds total!) of mayonnaise went missing from a warehouse. Police told the public to be on the lookout for large batches of coleslaw or potato salad… but we thinking stocking up for the impending apocalypse is as valid a motive as summer side dishes.
The Twilight Saga Ends in November
How can we go on without new Twilight novels and movies? Edward, Bella and the entire Cullen clan will live forever, so why can’t the series? After we see Bella in her full vampire glory and Jacob imprint – meaning fall in love forever – with a baby vamp in Breaking Dawn, Part 2 this November, will there even be a point of continuing on knowing no literary or theatrical release will ever compare?
SurvivalPlan2012.com
There are websites on every single topic in existence and anything pertaining to the apocalypse is covered on some site out there. But this site, in particular, is one that actually offers advice as to how best survive the impending apocalypse, however it may survive, and a book available for purchase. Well, if there’s a book about it, it must be legitimate, right? Does it matter whether it’s fiction or non-fiction?
Bath Salt Induced Zombie Attacks
Nothing quite screams apocalypse like zombies and bath salts, one of the rising trends in drug use, are believed to almost literally be turning actual humans into them. There have been several reported cases in the past few weeks of the alleged drug-users biting into human flesh. If these attacks end up having nothing to do with bath salts, it’s even more evidence to the coming apocalypse.
For now, Dick Clark, so long…
In the grand context of signs – both legitimate and not – this is perhaps the most convincing. Americans have been ringing in the New Year with Dick Clark since 1972, but this year we had to say goodbye to the entertainment legend when he passed away in April. So it’s worth asking: if we can’t ring in the New Year with Clark, will we be able to ring in 2013 at all?
